Magical Mystery Cure, Rift Edition
by webhead112233
Summary: Voice tires to create a new Rift magic spell for channel swamping. The result, well, read the title.


Voice of Reason was just trying to invent a more efficient way of entering someone else's channel unannounced for surprise cross-overs, one that didn't cause so much damage to the channel wall.  
>He thought her had it after a few hours of practice, a spell that would allow one analyst to instantly appear within someone else's channel. The spell worked by fooling the channel into thinking that the caster was a resident of the channel as opposed to a visitor. When the channel believes the caster is the one who owns the channel (if you were trying to enter Voice's channel, for example, the channel would believe that you were, in fact, Voice of Reason himself) they can walk right through without any trouble. Voice was testing it during the night hours, as all analysts would be asleep and, as such, could not be accidentally hit by any side effects of the spell. Unfortunately, unknown to him, there were five analysts awake when he did the final test on his spell.<p>

When Voice of Reason stepped outside his channel, he didn't know what to think about what he was saying. The subscriber count for the analysts was fluctuating, going up and down rabidly. The analysts who were outside their channel had to take cover, as flames were falling from the sky at random. Even the analysts who were safely in their own channel were only slightly better off. There were trolls, dozens and dozens of trolls, running rampant; with no one to hold them back.  
>Mr. Enter was doing his best to ward off trolls from some of the smaller analysts, while Mage tried to put out fires caused by flames, but it was a losing battle.<br>"What's happening?" Voice asked Mage, "Why isn't Ink Rose helping with the flames?" "She hasn't come out of her channel, no one knows why." Mage said, stopping out a flame that was immediately replaced with three others. Voice ran to Ink Rose's channel, few could sate flames like her.  
>When he got to her channel, his jaw dropped. There were piles of cans and bottles of alcohol, most of them drained. In the center off it all, was Ink Rose, fussing over a review.<br>Voice didn't know what she was doing, but before he could ask, the answer came by itself. _"I try to get all pissed off; I try to feel the hate. But all I ever feel is love and kindness resonate."_ She desperately reached for another bottle.  
><em>"I have to keep on drinking, or they surly dislike me. This destiny is not pretty, but it's what my cutie mark is telling my."<br>_Upon inspection, Voice realized that Ink Roses mark was gone replaced with a mark of three stars, clearly drawn with minimum effort. "Oh no." Voice said, running to check another channel. There was only one analysts who drank that much and cared that little, she had Drowning in Horseshoes' mark. Voice checked all the analysts channels, and his fears were confirmed.  
>Dr. Wolf:<em> "I try to flesh out stories, I try to tell the full on tale, but when it comes to these epics, all I do is fail. Writing all this down, comes with time as its fee. This destiny doesn't seem right for me, but it's what my cutie mark is telling me."<em> He had Ink Rose's mark.  
>Texeriax: <em>I try to state fair points, I try to keep a level head, but whenever I do, it just comes out like a rant instead. They expect me to help them stop seeing anger, but anger is all I see. This destiny is full of monotony, but it's what my cutie mark is telling me. <em>He had a mark, a gray wolf with glasses; the mark that would belong to Dr. Wolf.  
>Silverquil: <em>I try to create groundbreaking concepts; I try rant and fight the flames. But it all ends up as comedy, with Slender pony to blame. They all expect me to start swearing, and get insanely angry. This destiny is far from free, but it's what my cutie mark is telling me. <em>He had Tex's mark.  
>Drowning in Horseshoes: <em>They want me to do skits, they want me actively trying to be funny. Then I get upset when I try and give them drunken comedy. All I want is to crawl down in my basement, and put my head between my knees. I hate that my destiny is filled with parody, but it's what my cutie mark is telling me. <em>He had Silverquil's.  
>At first, Voice didn't know what had caused it; but when he returned to his channel and saw his channel hopping spell, he realized that it had been his fault. Voice knew that there would be time for feeling guilty later; right now he knew what he needed to do. And he started by play "A True, True Friends" on loop.<br>Voice, pulled Ink Rose out of her booze oaked channel, got her a few cups of coffee from the Rift Café, and set her loose on the flames. He pulled CosmoLogic into Dr. Wolf's channel, where he lamented to the doctor about his fear of time.  
>Next he showed Tex Rainbow Rocks and had the Slender pony, king Sombre, and the tatsl worm pull Silverquil into another skit. Finally, he placed a six pack of whiskey outside Drowning in Horseshoe's channel with a note that read 'for the brony'.<br>The effect was almost instant. After a few minutes of Ink Rose reading her head-canon fics and Silverquil's skit, the flames died away. Dr. Wolf's calm words left the trolls with no food, causing them to leave. And the rage that was called forth by Tex and Drowning scared away anything and everything that might be left.  
>"Phew." Voice sighed, seeing that peace and harmony had been restored. There was still one loose end though. Voice gathered Ink Rose, Dr. Wolf, Tex, Silverquil, and Drowning in once place and, with a little effort, restored all their marks.<br>"Glad that's over." Ink Rose said. "No kidding," Tex agreed, "But how did it even happen in the first place?"  
>Voice smiled nervously, "Well you see I…" And then Voice ran away from the angry mob.<br> 


End file.
